Living My Hike

I had a realization after coming home from a hike the other day.  (Keep in mind that I'm a hopeless analogizer— I find metaphors or object lessons in much that I do and find it hard to stop my introspection)  My hike gave me a renewed sense of peace with some questions about my future.   I got up early and decided to take a quick hike before my day began.  I drove up the road and parked by the trailhead.  In the spot where I had to climb over a few fences to continue on the path, four cows stood in my way.  This only made me a little nervous.  Having the trail there, I figured they were used to people passing through, so I climbed over and appreciated the way they courteously repositioned themselves so that we could avoid crossing paths too closely.  

Once over the fences, I climbed the rocks through the woods along the side of a creek, up across a bridge where I could hear the rushing water.  Further up the path, I ducked under a felled tree and appreciated a multitude of pink lady slipper flowers along the fern-covered forest floor.  I journeyed forward, smiling with thanks for my quick reflexes that enabled me to close my mouth just as a bug tried to get inside.  

So why do I share all this, and what does it have to do with questions about my future?  Well... if my hike is like my life, knowing what lies ahead is not as interesting or enjoyable as what is right in front of me.  What kind of a boring hike would it be if I knew exactly what I'd find around each twist and turn? Why should it matter so much if I know what is at the end of the trail?  I know there are reasons for making plans and having a concept of future, but at the same time, there are probably people like me who have to stop themselves from getting too concerned about something that's too far ahead to justify bothering about right now.  Besides, if something wonderful happens further up the path, I might rather not know so that I don't rush on past the good that's here today.  Let me enjoy my cows and flowers!

people time

I have a career with many opportunities to speak frankly and listen availably.  On one such occasion, I wrote down the thoughts of a man on his sick bed, first referring to his time spent with his children—

I never knew them really... talk to them, walk with them, pray with them, open the door to their minds. 

I didn't understand the full value of life.  You and I can sit here and talk about life, two complete strangers.  You know how great that is?  Just don't let people and time steal that from you.   

There is a God and He will fix the system.  Man is not capable of doing it.  We let too many things go on that's wrong.  Take full advantage of the time you've got.  

I value little advice like that of men like him, from the core of his soul speaking out to a stranger, eager to share the wisdom brought with aging.

Job 12:12 states, "Wisdom is with the aged, and understanding in length of days." Realizing this, I appreciate my job more, having the honor of tapping into people's collective wisdom living and working in a nursing home day after day.  

Instead of the thorn 
shall come up the cypress,

Instead of the brier 
shall come up the myrtle,

and it shall make a 
name for the Lord,

an everlasting sign that 
shall not be cut off.

Isaiah 55:13


Christmas season brings our attention to many trees.  I have a fake tree up in my house, and I just added this tiny tabletop cypress.  Aside from decoration, the essence I take from these trees now is their evergreen quality.  If I may, the verse above reminds us that God wanted the evergreen trees in Israel to be a reminder of something lasting— God's faithfulness, His promises, the salvation made possible by Christ.  It's never-ending. With this world in flux and our days uncertain, we can still focus our time and attention on what will last.  

My tiny cypress won't last forever, but many trees do last for what seems like forever.  It's not in a tree's nature to just die.  They aren't like other plants that have a life expectancy.  As long as they stay rooted, they continue to grow and yield fruit.  So it is with those who trust the Lord and remain in Him.  Thank God.  He keeps the righteous grounded, bearing fruit even after dry seasons.

I stood looking at the trees along a river (right) and listening to young girls playing the old song which states, "like a tree planted by the water, I shall not be moved."  What a comfort to man that he can be rooted in something bigger, stronger, and more powerful than himself.

And the spirit of Christmas may fade but the Spirit of Christ can be celebrated year long FOREVERMORE.

silly depths

Smurfs never meant anything to me. I don't think I watched them as a child. Yet here I am, twenty seven and overly happy about going to a smurf movie with a friend (complete with smurf tatoos on our faces). I'm even refreshed at the simplicity of the smurf plot, and the irony of being blue and cheerful too on an emotionally flip flop of a day.

A week later, a new friend wins a smurf for me in a claw machine at the beach... Papa smurf comes back from vacation with me. Besides reminding me of two friends, what do I care about smurfs???

I dig for it— Each smurf gets named with one adjective based on his personality or talents. The smurf named Clumsy struggles as he is only known for messing things up, and his family won't trust him to get anything done right. Yet he triumphs at the end of the film (oops! spoiler), because he is able to go beyond being just Clumsy to being a hero, his dream. A woman he meets reminds him that we can be more than one thing, instead of being locked into one defining characteristic or role. We all know that, right?

Sigh... I technically know that I can be identified in different ways, by different adjectives and characteristics, and different roles that I have. But there are afternoons like yesterday... I come home tired but refusing to rest. I get discouraged when several things go wrong. I even get discouraged that I get discouraged, when rationally I should feel great and often do. Can I hold this discouragement and joy in tension? Can I be clumsy and successful, weak and strong, cheerful and sad, wise and clueless, inspired and unmotivated, apathetic at times and still deeply loving & caring other times? I'd say most definitely YES. Maybe not all of these all at the same time, but still, multiple roles & qualities. Possibilities. I have shortcomings despite the great potential in me (or potential despite the shortcomings in me?). Much of it is God's work, not mine. Sometimes though, it is entirely my choice. On those evenings when it's hard to look past one shortcoming, one glitch, one frustration, one weakness, one role... I remember how each of us is a combination of so many different roles, qualities, gifts, circumstances & defining moments. I become thankful, hopeful, peaceful, and I rest in that.

Tonight Papa Smurf made a few unplanned appearances around town— I don't mind a few odd glances, because the curiosity, big smiles, and laughter from those who appreciate him make it worth it ;) Don't let joy be stolen.

Need I Three?

Today I realized I have three blogs— that seems like overkill.  Especially since I've been in a relatively dry season as far as my writing goes.  I might be crawling out of that, which is a blessing since I've volunteered to be the blogger for an upcoming trip.  The beauty of my professional work is that I do all my paperwork by hand, so that when I hit the computer, my fingers are delighted to type away my thoughts.  I just need to get more thoughts worth having.  (I'm sure you know how that is— when you can think clearly, you just don't always like the things you're thinking, so they aren't worth the effort, and certainly not worth the effort to write them down.  But then when the clouds clear, when you see how much bigger life is than you yourself, and start to think in another voice besides the first person. The me thoughts turn to we thoughts...)

All we do each day affects a multitude of other people.  Rather than that pressuring us, it becomes a true honor to step into.  Can't step into it lightly, but when stepped into with a yielding heart & prayerful spirit, it is deeply important yet still feels light on our shoulders. 

I feel the hints of these things.  These thoughts come scrambled back into my mind, the meaningful ones I don't entirely block but still refuse to fully process some days (or ninety five percent of the days this past year).  Well I'm stepping back into my full reflective mode.  I've missed it.  And channeled and fueled the right way, I think it can be a fruitful use my time— hopefully a fruitful use of others' time once I hammer down what I'll write about to share.  Until then, each bit of writing and reflecting at least is keeping in shape...  

excerpts, etcetras

strategy (n.) a plan, method, or series of maneuvers for obtaining a specific goal or result

I keep thinking about God's being the ultimate strategist. He plans each move. He sees it all before it will happen and as it happens, because He is outside of time. He anticipates each need. He knows how everything will work together according to His plan to bring Him ultimate glory and triumph over evil. Trying to figure out why some things happen as they do may confuse me to no end... but from His vantage point, it all makes perfect sense. I trust He has things under control.

And I've scribbled down quotes while trying to read through several books too quickly and all at once...

Francois Fenelon in Christian Perfection

Be free, gay, simple, a child. But be a sturdy child, who fears nothing, who speaks out frankly, who lets himself be led, who is carried in the arms; in a word, one who knows nothing, can do nothing, can anticipate and change nothing, but who has a freedom and a strength forbidden to the great. This childhood baffles the wise, and God himself speaks by the mouth of such children.

When we have found God, there is nothing more to ask for in men.

Jeremiah Burrough's (1599-1646) in The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment

Christian contentment is that sweet, inward, quiet, gracious frame of spirit, which freely submits to and delights in God's wise and fatherly disposal in every condition.

It may be said of one who is contented in a Christian way that he is the most contented man in the world, and yet the most unsatisfied man in the world.

from The Practice of the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence

James 4:8 says to draw near to God and He will draw near to you. It's a relationship between God and man, realized by Christ's giving his life to bring us close to God. Brother Lawrence, a Carmelite cook in Paris, described the way people draw near and relate to the true, living God by practicing his presence... practice being conscious of his presence and seeking communion with him while living a life of worship. Here is just a small portion of what he said:

"Our sanctification does not depend as much on our changing our activities as it does on doing them for God rather than for ourselves."

"God has infinite treasures to give us... Why should we be satisfied with a brief moment of worship? With such meager devotion, we retrain the flow of God's abundant grace. If God can find a soul filled with a lively faith, He pours His grace into it in a torrent, which, having found an open channel, gushes out abundantly."

"The Holy Spirit dwelling in us leads us to love GOD in a diversity of ways."

Thoughts on worshipping in spirit and in truth... "to adore God in truth is to recognize Him for what He is, and ourselves for what we are... to admit that our nature is just the opposite of His."

Explaining how God alone is capable of making Himself known as He really is, Lawrence said "God alone paints Himself in the depths of our souls." And oh, He does it so marvelously.

"...the greatest glory one can give to God is to entirely mistrust one's own strength, relying completely on God's protection."

fairness = giving everyone what they need

watching a video in class, this hit me when i heard it. they were talking about how teachers contest that it isn't fair for them to give students with learning disabilities extra help, because they were not doing the same with all the other students. of course they weren't. to bo fair, they did not have to give everyone the same instruction... they just had to give each child the instruction he or she needed. and some needed more than otheres.

it's easy to see things as not being fair, if we view fair as being equal treatment. sometimes i wonder if it's fair that i live a healthy and comfortable life while others suffer pain, sickness, poverty, etc. then it boils down to trusting His judgment of fairness. He knows what everyone needs, and that different people have different needs. ultimately, I believe He will put each of us in exactly the right position we have to be in so that we will recognize our need for Him, or best show His glory and sovereignty to others. my view of fair is drastically skewed, especially since I don't know what exactly I need or what others need. we rely on God to judge fairness. If He says, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion," (which He does say, romans 9:15) then it's clear He is in control of things and judges by His own standard, which is not equal but fair.

por la pALABRA del SEñOR fueron cREADOs los cIELos,
y por eL SOpLO de Su bOCa, laS eSTRELLas...
tEMA toda lA tIERRa al SEñOR
hÓnrenLo todos los pUEBLos del mUNDo;
porqÚE ÉL hABLÓ, y tODO fue CreADO;
diÓ un ORden, y TOdo queDÓ fIRme.

[ sALMo 33: 6 -9 ]

as i study more about words and language, i seek to be more attentive to the Word of the Lord. with a word, God created the heavens. He blew, and created the starry host. everything was created, because He spoke it into being. when i think about speech, and the power of a word, i think about that kind of power. and i stand amazed... in awe of creation! don't let me stop being amazed at what the Lord can command

growth. sometimes to grow you must cut off parts of the past. parts that haven't blossomed and fluorished. parts that have died and turned brown. weeds that have grown up around the fruitful parts of your life and are choking the good parts of your life from nutrients. funny how nature abstractly mirrors our lives. funny how i weed outside in our bushbed and somehow get deep and philosophical about everything. or maybe it's not so funny. maybe it's a blessing to see how life works and how faith changes the way i see everything. thankful for growth, even when weeding hurts a bit. abstract as it may be.